Wants

For a perfectionist and literalist, the commandment, "Ask, and ye shall receive" is a simple one. You ask God to make you perfect, and he moves you closer according to your limited faith. Keep it up, and someday you'll be a worthwhile, perfect person. Obviously, this is a messed-up view.

The obvious reason this view is messed up is because you can be a worthwhile person without being perfect. Your worth is independent of your goodness or weaknesses.

However, there as a deeper problem with this view. Even a perfectionist who recognizes their inherent worth will wonder why the commandment to ask is repeated so often. They might conclude that there is just a lot of asking and praying to be done on the road to eternal life.

They miss the real reason: God wants us to have wants, needs, desires, and passions. We are to control our desires and bridle our passions (Alma 38:12), in favor of our greater goals and greater desires. However, we cannot succeed without wanting things. We cannot succeed unless we decide what we want and go for it. As John Bytheway likes to say regarding how he pursued his wife, "I will go and do, not sit and stew. I will move unless I feel it is wrong." That is the fire, the passion, with which a celestial person pursues heaven with all its glory. Let's each find the portion of celestial desire in our own heart and then magnify it by asking God.

One of the greatest things to ask God for "with all the energy of heart" is charity (Moroni 7:48). But sometimes charity isn't developed by praying for charity with all the energy of heart. More often, it comes from praying for other people with all the energy of heart. That is, after all, how both Lehi and Nephi received their calls to the ministry (see 1 Ne 1 and 2).

The Spirit of the Mission Schedule

On my mission, I realized I was often overliteral and had difficulty seeing the spirit as well as the letter of the law. (Sometimes the phrase "the spirit of the law" is used to rationalize wrongdoing, but the introduction to my missionary handbook said to learn and live the higher law as taught by Jesus in the Sermon on the Mount.)

I just now realized the spirit of the missionary schedule--why there are strict rules to maximize proselyting time. It is to meet the missionaries' physical, spiritual, mental, and emotional needs as efficiently as possible so that missionaries may serve as many people as possible.

Inasmuch as we want to live the law of Consecration, we should learn to manage our time so that we can meet our needs, in every area, wisely and efficiently. For example, a married couple need time together; children need time with their parents; everyone needs sleep and food, with money to pay for necessities and modest wants; everyone needs time to grow both mentally (developing talents) and spiritually (becoming more like God). If we neglect our needs, we won't feel as happy or energetic.

The better we are at filling our needs efficiently, the more we can serve. For instance, eight hours of sleep at night leaves me just as rested as seven hours of sleep at night with a two-hour nap in the afternoon. That's an hour that I can put into relationships or work. Or I could go to the Temple and do some of the shorter ordinances in that time. And all the while, I feel just as rested and peaceful.

Addictions are the opposite extreme--trying endlessly to fill a need in a way that will never satisfy it. Some wounds can only be filled with the love of Christ or through true emotional principles taught by the Holy Ghost, through friends or therapists. But we try endlessly to fill the gap by binge eating, smoking, or immorality--usually by using something good excessively or in the wrong way, or at the wrong time. If you skip dinner and binge later, you won't feel good. If you're hungry and eat a box full of treats, you may not feel good, either. If you are lonely or depressed and use sexual feelings to fill the gap, the temporary pleasure will only cover your loneliness for a moment, and then you will feel worse than before.

For me, reading books is a good balance, but it isn't perfect. It is wholesome and lets me feel the Spirit, but sometimes I could get the same emotional and spiritual strength faster by doing something else, leaving me more time to serve.

Ki, Chi, Qi, Energy, or Light

When Joseph the Prophet wrote of his First Vision, he struggled to find the ideal word to describe the glory of God. He used the word fire in some accounts and said he was surprised that the trees did not ignite in God's presence. He also used the word glory. The word he finally settled on, and used most often, was light.

The light of God is said in D&C 88, verses 1 to about 12, to fill the immensity of space, quicken our minds, and give law and order to all things. We usually assume that this light is what gives us our conscience and holds the universe together. Perhaps this is what God meant when he said "Let there be light" to begin creation. His light began to shine--and that had to happen first. Likewise, in our personal development, we must start with the light of Christ, and built on that with positive habits and characteristics we want to have.

Anyway, I have often marveled at how similar Eastern ideas of Ki or Chi are to the scriptural idea of light from God. Eastern philosophies, and prominently in Western culture the martial arts, often teach that there is a universal energy that must be channeled through one's body for maximum effect. For instance, the Ki'ai, the shout during martial arts, is intended to channel Ki, or energy.

I believe that there is some truth to these nonscriptural practices--that Ki really can be channeled, and that it really does have a dramatic impact on your body. The first experience I ever had with Ki was with a meditation technique (I think it was called Qui Jong... maybe), in which you imagine light coursing through your body like a waterfall, from above your head through your feet. You imagine your feet holding it in your body for a while and then releasing it.

The next spiritual blessing I had from a father's hands was a special experience.

Following the Spirit

The Spirit of God speaks to each of us in a different way. I have recently learned that the way I understand the Spirit best is through word and action. In other words, I simply feel that if I follow the Spirit, I am going to do or say something, and that it is right. The first time I remember feeling this way was when I was a teenager and woke up early on a summer morning and simply felt like cleaning the kitchen. So I did. Then my mother came downstairs, exhausted, saying she'd had hardly any sleep and was so glad I'd cleaned the kitchen.

Another time, a woman came in to Walgreens to buy cigarettes. I felt prompted to ask for her ID. She was flattered! It made her day that she looked young enough to be asked for her ID for tobacco.

More recently, I have learned that, usually when I have a calling in a certain area but also with friends, I will simply feel certain words come to me. I often don't know what I'm supposed to say until I say it. Sometimes I struggle with how best to word it.

A word of caution to anyone with my same gift, which is given by God so that we may bless others: just because you feel prompted to say something doesn't mean everyone will listen. They may be prompted to take a different course; your prompting may have been to give them insight, not direction. This happens most often to me when I am giving friends advice. I feel prompted to give them my point of view, which is helpful but not definitive to them.

Remember also that all who do good work by faith, by the power and gifts of God, through His Spirit. These gifts include faith, hope, and charity. They include power unrivaled by any other organization or standpoint. They are powerful and useful in their place. We should "covet to prophesy" (or to speak by inspiration) and "seek after spiritual gifts." The greatest gift we can receive in this life is charity, because it motivates us to be all that we can be, to progress from glory to glory until we are perfect. In the name of Jesus Christ, I bear that testimony, that these spiritual gifts are available unto all who diligently seek them, and they cannot be perfectly imitated by Satan, by tricks, or by psychological wisdom. God alone can grant them. In the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.

Proper Time and Place

Well, I'm planning to propose to my girlfriend tomorrow, less than three months after our first date. So, I wanted to ramble for a bit about decision-making and time. Making choices too quickly can lead to all sorts of problems. There may be unforeseen consequences. There are more likely to be mistakes. Making choices too slowly also leads to all sorts of problems. It hurts those who are waiting for you to decide. If you delay too long, the choice usually defaults to the worse of the two options.

So, like in all things, decision making requires a balanced amount of time. It requires that one do their best to consider all the implications. It requires that one enjoy life and not worry too much. Faith in God helps tremendously, knowing that He is anxious and willing to make up for our weaknesses, especially in the long run. He will make everything right in the end. However, he is also ready to bless us in the short run, if we ask for it and are believing. We must believe that God is completely capable of giving us the blessing now, and we must desire to put His will first. If we are truly humble and believing--not letting doubts drown out the possibility of divine intervention, but also preparing for all possibilities--then we will be at peace with ourselves and with God.

Another aspect of decision making is listening to advice. Obviously, asking for advice from friends and family will almost always produce a large variety of responses. In my case, for instance, you ask your friends when you should marry, and they think short-term happiness. Why wait? That just produces more stress, they say. You ask your family, and they remind you of the financial implications. Having seen marriages struggle and fall, they urge you to give it more time, to be sure it is what you want. Then you ask your Bishop, and he tells you to get married as soon as possible to more easily keep yourselves clean. You read the words of the prophets, and they say to be wise and have faith that God will provide what you need if you do your best, and even recommend, in general, not delaying marriage or children for financial reasons, since in struggling together you can choose to grow together. That too can be a great blessing.

My decision was to get married sooner rather than later. A great comfort is that in most situations, there is more than one good option. Either way will bring a lot of happiness. Which job? Pray about it. But the Lord may remain silent because both are good or because you already know enough to make the decision on your own. Good luck to my readers. Especially my unmarried ones. ;)

Never Give Up

Oh, it is wonderful to know that our Heavenly Father loves us – even with all our flaws! His love is such that even should we give up on ourselves, He never will.

– Elder Joseph B. Wirthlin
Quorum of the Twelve Apostles