My Testimony

Doctrine and Covenants 46:13-14 says:

To some it is given by the Holy Ghost to know that Jesus Christ is the Son of God, and that he was crucified for the sins of the world.

To others it is given to believe on their words, that they also might have eternal life if they continue faithful.

When I became a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints at eight years old, the bishop asked me if I believed in God and Christ, if I believed that Joseph Smith, Jr. and Gordon B. Hinckley were prophets of God, and if I believed this was God's church. I answered honestly: I did believe. On the first Sunday of every month, thousands of Mormons get up and announce that they know, by the power of the Holy Ghost, that Jesus is the Christ and/or that this is his church. Knowing and believing are central to our religion, but this scripture implies that there is a difference between the two.

A local Latter-day Saint leader named Russell Hancock recently described his worries as a young man. He believed that the Church was true, but in spite of a great deal of sincere prayer, he did not know for himself. Eventually, his mother encouraged him to act on his beliefs and stop worrying. He did so, and after many years, knowledge came. Brother Hancock cites David O. McKay's experience as similar to his own: President McKay didn't know for himself until after being called as a mission president!

For my friends and family, I want to describe my own experience with testimony.

When I was a young boy, my parents zealously took me to Church and taught me doctrine and wisdom. I believed what they taught, and I was baptized.

Early in my life--I think it was shortly after my baptism--I got what Alma 32 calls a knowledge that the word is good. I said something like verse 28 to myself:

It must needs be that this is a good seed, or that the word is good, for it beginneth to enlarge my soul; yea, it beginneth to enlighten my understanding, yea, it beginneth to be delicious to me.

I think this is what most members of the Church mean when they say they have a testimony. They have tasted the joy of the Spirit, and they know that the Church and gospel are good. However, this is not the same as a perfect knowledge. Alma says that we must nourish the word, with faith, diligence, and patience.

When I was 15, I already loved the scriptures, seminary, and Church. I had read the Book of Mormon more than once. Kneeling by my bedside, in Highland, Utah, I decided to test the Moroni Promise for myself:

And when ye shall receive these things, I would exhort you that ye would ask God, the Eternal Father, in the name of Christ, if these things are not true; and if ye shall ask with a sincere heart, with real intent, having faith in Christ, he will manifest the truth of it unto you, by the power of the Holy Ghost.

I didn't quite get what I expected. I felt a very gentle feeling of peace, and the following words came into my mind: You already know that the Book of Mormon is true. At first, I was a little disappointed that I didn't get something more dramatic, but this experience still strengthens me. In my grandfather's words, I knew that I knew (Douglas Callister).

At this point, I definitely had what most Latter-day Saints would consider a testimony, but there are still two more steps that I have experienced, and there is one more step that I long to experience. Revelation 19:10 says:

The testimony of Jesus is the spirit of prophecy.

When I was 18 years old, I received the Melchizedek Priesthood, and those close to me began to ask me for priesthood blessings. Just like the Holy Ghost had revealed to me that the Church was true, words began to spill out of my mouth. Sometimes I was surprised by what I felt prompted to say, but I knew that what I was saying was inspired of God. What a blessing! And it definitely isn't confined to the priesthood. Moroni finished his promise with these words:

By the power of the Holy Ghost ye may know the truth of all things.

I have received many revelations over the years. Sometimes, I just feel the right words for someone spill out of my mouth. Other times, I feel words and feelings come into my mind and heart, as described in D&C 8.

On my mission, I wanted another witness. I wanted a deeper knowledge of the truth of the Book of Mormon. I knew it was true, but my knowledge seemed relatively passive and quiet. I knelt down and asked for something more compelling, more undeniable. Something like Oliver Cowdery was promised in the work of translation, in D&C 9:

But, behold, I say unto you, that you must study it out in your mind; then you must ask me if it be right, and if it is right I will cause that your bosom shall burn within you; therefore, you shall feel that it is right.

And I received something like it. That day, kneeling in my apartment in Trenton, Ontario, God gave me a surer testimony, one that burns in my soul. Ever since then, I have had a passionate desire to bear my testimony to others. I try to bridle that passion, so that I testify when the time is right, when others will understand what I am saying, but I wish I could shout from the hilltops! I wish I could tell everyone what I know.

So, on top of a traditional, quiet testimony, I have tasted the spirit of prophecy and revelation, and I have gained a passion for sharing my testimony. But I have yet to receive the greatest knowledge of all, described in Alma 32:43:

And because of your diligence and your faith and your patience with the word in nourishing it, that it may take root in you, behold, by and by ye shall pluck the fruit thereof, which is most precious, which is sweet above all that is sweet, and which is white above all that is white, yea, and pure above all that is pure; and ye shall feast upon this fruit even until ye are filled, that ye hunger not, neither shall ye thirst.

Then, my brethren, ye shall reap the rewards of your faith, and your diligence, and patience, and long-suffering, waiting for the tree to bring forth fruit unto you.

I believe that this fruit is eternal life, or, in other words, I believe that this fruit is to get to know God for ourselves. As we do so, we become filled with his love, as Mormon prophesied (Moroni 7:48):

Wherefore, my beloved brethren, pray unto the Father with all the energy of heart, that ye may be filled with this love, which he hath bestowed upon all who are true followers of his Son, Jesus Christ; that ye may become the sons of God; that when he shall appear we shall be like him, for we shall see him as he is; that we may have this hope; that we may be purified even as he is pure. Amen.

With Mormon, I testify that this love is real and powerful. In the name of Jesus Christ, I can tell you that the spiritual knowledge of a testimony is real, that it grows if acted upon, and that charity never fails.

A Child of God

One hundred eighty-two years ago this Spring, a child of God knelt in sincere prayer to ask God a simple question, intending to do whatever he was commanded.

And Satan went berserk. That boy wrote: "immediately I was seized upon by some power which entirely overcame me, and had such an astonishing influence over me as to bind my tongue so that I could not speak." Satan did everything he could to silence the boy whose testimony would enlighten tens of thousands in his lifetime. Millions have now grown because of Joseph Smith's testimony.

But God delivered Joseph! He gave the boy prophet protection from Satan, work to do, and power to do it. Soon, under the new Prophet's direction, other children of God began to be called to serve:

And your whole labor shall be in Zion, with all your soul, from henceforth; yea, you shall ever open your mouth in my cause, not fearing what man can do, for I am with you. Amen.

The Lord never intended for one child to do his whole work. Jesus Christ leads the work and ensures that all our mistakes are made up, sooner or later. He promises that everyone can be a part of what he is doing:

For all have not every gift given unto them; for there are many gifts, and to every man is given a gift by the Spirit of God.

Every person has a gift. Your gifts may include the ability to share knowledge, or to share wisdom, or to be comforting. The scriptures guarantee that you have at least one. The Lord used astronomy as a metaphor in D&C 88 and in the book of Abraham. D&C 88:44 could be describing how our gifts all complement each other in God's work:

They give light to each other in their times and in their seasons.

We all benefit from each other in different ways. I believe that some promptings are more likely to come to men, while others are more likely to come to women. The poor seem to get more revelation about taking care of each other, while the rich seem to have more light on spending their money efficiently. And the scriptures are clear that our own interests and questions have a huge impact on what revelations we get:

Ask, and ye shall receive; knock, and it shall be opened unto you.

Like with Joseph Smith, Satan wants to silence each of us. Of course the light we have is incomplete, there's no way we're going to save the world on our own, but Satan wants us to believe that our gifts, ideas, and interests are irrelevant. He wants us to close our mouths. He will tell us whatever lies are necessary: that women can't be leaders, that men can't be loving, that children can't be wise. Even well-meaning people may believe some of Satan's lies and tell you to be silent. But could the Lord be any clearer?

Open your mouths and they shall be filled, and you shall become even as Nephi of old, who journeyed from Jerusalem in the wilderness.

Yea, open your mouths and spare not, and you shall be laden with sheaves upon your backs, for lo, I am with you.

Yea, open your mouths and they shall be filled, saying: Repent, repent, and prepare ye the way of the Lord, and make his paths straight; for the kingdom of heaven is at hand.

Again, most of us know we all have limitations on our authority over others. We don't have the right to declare new commandments, to judge others' worthiness, or to become angry. We do, however, have the right to speak as we are guided by the Holy Ghost. We all have the right to ask hard questions of others, to point out important deficits in what the Lord has revealed so far, and to propose possible solutions until the Lord reveals more on the subject. We can pray with all our hearts for revelation, and we can receive it.

If we open our mouths, we can literally become like Nephi. His father, the authoritative Prophet in the story, saw a vision of a tree and an iron rod leading to it. After Lehi explained the vision to his family, Nephi desired to see the same vision.

And he did.

Nephi learned some different things from the same vision, things more applicable to his own perspective and needs. And when his brethren were arguing about what the vision meant, Nephi could explain with confidence.

I plead with you, don't wait for someone else to be Nephi (who could explain the vision so clearly), or Esther (who saved Israel by lifting up her voice), or Emma (who got us the Word of Wisdom by objecting to church leaders' tobacco use). Don't let anyone tell you that your gifts are worthless. Their light does not invalidate yours.

After all, you are a child of heavenly parents. Is there anything you can't do, if they are behind you?

Proper Time and Place

Well, I'm planning to propose to my girlfriend tomorrow, less than three months after our first date. So, I wanted to ramble for a bit about decision-making and time. Making choices too quickly can lead to all sorts of problems. There may be unforeseen consequences. There are more likely to be mistakes. Making choices too slowly also leads to all sorts of problems. It hurts those who are waiting for you to decide. If you delay too long, the choice usually defaults to the worse of the two options.

So, like in all things, decision making requires a balanced amount of time. It requires that one do their best to consider all the implications. It requires that one enjoy life and not worry too much. Faith in God helps tremendously, knowing that He is anxious and willing to make up for our weaknesses, especially in the long run. He will make everything right in the end. However, he is also ready to bless us in the short run, if we ask for it and are believing. We must believe that God is completely capable of giving us the blessing now, and we must desire to put His will first. If we are truly humble and believing--not letting doubts drown out the possibility of divine intervention, but also preparing for all possibilities--then we will be at peace with ourselves and with God.

Another aspect of decision making is listening to advice. Obviously, asking for advice from friends and family will almost always produce a large variety of responses. In my case, for instance, you ask your friends when you should marry, and they think short-term happiness. Why wait? That just produces more stress, they say. You ask your family, and they remind you of the financial implications. Having seen marriages struggle and fall, they urge you to give it more time, to be sure it is what you want. Then you ask your Bishop, and he tells you to get married as soon as possible to more easily keep yourselves clean. You read the words of the prophets, and they say to be wise and have faith that God will provide what you need if you do your best, and even recommend, in general, not delaying marriage or children for financial reasons, since in struggling together you can choose to grow together. That too can be a great blessing.

My decision was to get married sooner rather than later. A great comfort is that in most situations, there is more than one good option. Either way will bring a lot of happiness. Which job? Pray about it. But the Lord may remain silent because both are good or because you already know enough to make the decision on your own. Good luck to my readers. Especially my unmarried ones. ;)

Sharing Love and Testimony

When we truly feel the love of God and have a sure knowledge that God lives, we want to share that with others.

Understanding of God's love comes in stages. First, we understand it theoretically. Then, we understand that God loves us, values us, and wishes us well--we understand that we need God. We understand His love as a child understands a parent's love. Finally, we begin to understand that love means sacrifice. As we slowly begin to understand Christ's infinite Atonement, the unbounded sacrifice He made for us and the daily sacrifices He still makes in serving us, we simultaneously begin to serve and bless those around us as well. (The reverse is just as true--the more we serve, the more we can understand Christ.) The love of service and sacrifice has potentially infinite power.

Testimony works similarly. At first, we believe because others tell us it is true, and it seems to make sense. Later, we receive our own spiritual experiences that confirm it. Finally, we may receive the grand spiritual gift of a burning knowledge and desire to share the gospel. Before my mission, I had a strong testimony, but it did not begin to burn within me until I specifically asked for that blessing. I find that it slowly wanes unless I continue to thank the Lord for it and ask for it to continue.

Ask, and ye shall receive. This is specifically applied both to charity (Moroni 7:48) and to testimony (Moroni 10:3-5) in the Book of Mormon.